Even In My Dreams You Haunt Me
by Jakunen Kanashimi
Summary: In that moment, I was struck with the thought of how beautiful she was. It wasn't physical beauty, but something else entirely. I didn’t understand it, but I knew that she was something special. DMHG oneshot


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, and I am not making money off of this story. Get over it.

**AN-** Just a little DMHG fic I wrote at like one in the morning. I was trying to sleep, but instead I wrote a story. How typical of me. Anyways, let's just pretend there is a bell at Hogwarts at the end of each class. EDIT Okay. So I finally wrote the rest of it. Sorry about the super super super long wait. It was like over a year I think. God, I suck. > Well here's the rest of it. Pleeeeeassssseeeeeee comment; it will make my day. :D

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**Even In My Dreams You Haunt Me**

I stare out into the rising sun. Stars fade as the blood red sunlight spills into the sky, chasing the night away. I come here often, just to watch this moment. A cool breeze gently blows by, sending shivers down my spine. I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of it, only to see her again.

The scene seems to be burned onto the insides of my eyelids. I can see everything perfectly, down to that bright speck of gold on her necklace. She was talking with her friends, her brown eyes alight with laughter. In that moment, I was struck with the thought of how beautiful she was. It wasn't physical beauty, but something else entirely. I didn't understand it, but I knew that she was something special.

From that day on, I watched her, trying desperately to understand what it was that made me so drawn to her. It had struck me that I had never talked to her, not once. I had exchanged words, insults, with her and her friends, but never once had I had a conversation with her. What had compelled me to ridicule her before? Was it the way my father had brought me up, or just something inside of me trying to tell me she was different from all the rest? I don't know. All I know is that I am fascinated by her, I have to have her, and I have no clue how to even talk to her.

She is just the way she always was, yet entirely different. Or is it me that has changed? Have I finally realized the beauty of life, no matter who your parents are? Or am I just the same as I have always been?

I open my eyes, forcing these thoughts away. It is too early to think so hard. I turn my back on the morning and retreat into the stone walls of Hogwarts. My cloak billowing behind me in a typical Slytherin fashion, I stalk towards the common room. Muttering the password, I step inside.

I quickly walk into my room, one of the benefits of having a fortune, and lock the door. I throw off my cloak and toss it in a corner. Some of the house elves will pick it up. I smile wryly as I thought of what she would say to that.

I collapse onto my bed. Having been up all night thinking is not good for your health. It is a good thing we didn't have classes today. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Sure, all of us normally fall asleep in Professor Binns's class, but I have a feeling I wouldn't wake up at the end of class when the bell rang.

Pulling my sheets closer to me, I drift off into blessed oblivion. Instead of the peace I had hoped for, my dreams are haunted by images, memories, and dreams of her. Her wild curly hair, her dark brown eyes, her fiery attitude, her slim figure, her ridiculous ideas about house elves, her straight A grades, her soft smile that is never directed at me, the look on her face when she slapped me in third year, her laughter ringing in my ears… taunting me… The twisting in my stomach and the feeling of a knife being slammed into my heart, as I know that I will never have her.

I shake myself awake. Feeling no less exhausted, I force myself to get out of bed. It is now somewhere around eleven. Only five hours of sleep, and still no rest for me. It has been this way for a while. Ever since that single defining moment that changed my life.

I walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Turning on the hot water and peeling off my clothes, I slide into the bath. I absently scrub my blonde hair clean. I am haunted by memories of her. I can't believe how many times I have made her feel bad about herself. Torturing myself, I force myself to relive every second of these moments. I have tormented her for too long. I could never have her.

I have been in here for only a while, but already the water is getting cold. Yet still I sit in the bath. Waiting. For what, I'm not sure. Maybe I won't ever know. Maybe I'm just insane. A small smirk develops on my face as I picture the headline of the Daily Prophet. _'Malfoy Heir Admitted Into St. Mungo's Earlier This Evening! Insanity Or Just Wanting Publicity? Find Out The TRUE Story On Page 11!'_

Finally stepping out of the bath, I quickly get dressed and make my way out of the common room. Funny how I don't really speak to anyone anymore. It seems like the whole world has stopped except for me and my growing fascination. As I walk into the Great Hall, I recognize only one other person in there. Her.

She is sitting alone at the Gryffindor table, with no food in front of her and no friends surrounding her. All of the other Gryffindors were sitting away from her, whispering to each other with malicious looks on their faces. There were barely any people there, but there were enough to have an impact. I knew she could see them talking about her, but I couldn't see how she was reacting. She was facing the other way, and there was no way I could see her face unless I wanted everyone in the room to know that I was watching her. That was the thing about Hogwarts. Everything you do is watched and judged. There are eyes everywhere, even when you think you're alone. Rumors are spread everyday about the most ridiculous things. People are shunned, then welcomed back the next day with arms spread wide.

I can't help wondering what is on her mind, this angel that haunts me even in my dreams. I slowly walk to the Slytherin table, keeping my eyes away from her. I know how much people love to gossip, and I am not going to give them any sort of motivation. As I eat my late breakfast, I glance towards her. She hasn't moved. I wonder what could have happened. I know her friends wouldn't abandon her, so where are they? Perhaps still sleeping? Or has something terrible happened? I am too caught up in the thoughts of her, that I don't notice everyone else staring at me now. The whispering continues.

Abruptly, she stood up and stalked out of the Great Hall, pride in her stance. She hasn't given up any of her dignity, I can see that much. I smile absently. If she gave up hope, then what would become of me?

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Finallyfinishing my meal, I stand and take a look around. It seems everyone has left except for Dumbledore, who is still seated at the teacher's table. He gives me an 'understanding' look as I wonder how much he truly knows. He may be an old fool, but you can never keep _anything_ from him. I give him a blank stare before walking out of the Great Hall.

As I walk down the empty corridor I wonder again what has happened to her. What could cause her whole House to just abandon her like that? It appears I will get my answer sooner than I could have imagined. Potter and Weasley are walking down the corridor, not noticing me in the slightest. I move into the shadows as I catch snippets of their conversation.

"I just can't believe she would do this to us! She knows what he is! And she knew that I loved her," Weasley exploded to Potter. A look of repulsion was on his face. Potter nodded emphatically, agreeing with his friend.

"He is a slimy disgusting Death Eater, and yet she still falls for him! I have no clue how that happened, since all he has ever done is insult her," Potter agrees, a similar look of disgust on his face. "Maybe she goes for that type of thing. I just don't know her anymore! She has been shutting us out of her life for a while, so why should we even try? Especially after she goes and falls for Malfoy of all people!"

I freeze. Malfoy? Me? She has fallen for _me_? I stand still in shock. Could she possibly return my feelings? What exactly are my feelings towards her? I know I am fascinated by her, but do I like her in that way? I had never really given it any thought. And yet, of all people, she chose me. Why? No time to think about it; I have to find her. I wait until the fuming Potter and Weasley pass, then I rush towards the library. If I know her at all, then that's where she has gone.

I open the doors to the library and walk inside. The students who were there stopped whatever they were doing to stare openly at me. Turning back to my old self for a moment, I shoot a death glare around the room. Everyone reluctantly returns to his or her reading, taking the warning.

I stalk to the back of the library, determined to find her. I finally spot her sitting behind a stack of dusty books. She looks to be crying, but I know her better than that. She would never cry. She has too much pride, just like me. I slowly walk to her. Standing in front of her, I wait for her to notice me.

Finally she looks up, her deep brown eyes confused. Then she understands, her eyes closing in despair. She knows I have heard what has happened.

"Go ahead, Malfoy. Tell me how much you hate me and how you could never love a filthy Mudblood like me." She says, trying to keep her voice steady. I am amazed at how she could think so badly of me, but then again, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

"I don't care what blood flows through your veins. I don't care that your parents are Muggles." She looks up at me, mystified. I let out a short little laugh. "Merlin, listen to me. I sound like completely different person. Well, I guess I am. I would apologize for the way I've treated you, but I suppose you wouldn't believe me anyway. You fascinate me with your every move. I can't take my eyes off of you some days. Even in my dreams you haunt me." I stop talking, wondering why I was spilling all of my secrets to her. Why I had even come looking for her. What exactly was I supposed to say? 'Oh, sorry for being a complete stuck up jackass for six years. Now, I expect you to just forgive me so we can have a passionate affair despite the fact that my father would kill me for even thinking about it.' Unless she's into necrophilia, I didn't think that we would work.

I turn away, keeping my face forcibly blank. I hear her standing up behind me as I start to walk away. There is no chance for us to ever be together, even in a friendly sense. What had I been thinking? I am Slytherin, she is Gryffindor. We are enemies, complete opposites. Black and white, fire and ice, good and evil. I should just forget about her, but I know it won't be that easy.

"Please." Her voice is soft, trembling. I freeze. "Please, don't go. I- I shouldn't have thought of you like that." I interrupt her.

"No, you had every reason to. I am Draco Malfoy, soon-to-be Death Eater. I was, and am, your enemy. I can't ever hope for anything more, no matter how much I-" I cut myself off. It wasn't good to even let her know how much I wanted her. "I have to go. I can't do this. There are more reasons not to than there are-"

"Why do you care? Aren't you willing to take a chance? I would be. I don't care what everyone thinks, and I don't care that your father would probably try to kill me. As long as I get to be with you." She closed her eyes. "Listen to me. I sound like a sappy romance novel! But there's no other way to say it. I love you, Draco Malfoy. I love you for everything you are, nothing more, nothing less."

I feel tears behind my eyes, but a Malfoy never cries. I hold them back, trying to process what has happened. She loves me. I think I love her too. What has this world come to? Two enemies falling in love? It's nearly as bad as _Romeo and Julia_, or whatever that play was called.

We can't fall in love. We are enemies. I can't do it. She can't do it. Yet here we are, doing exactly what we're not supposed to. Pushing aside my confusing emotions, I do the only thing that I can. I kiss her. Her lips are soft, inviting. I hold her close, memorizing the way she feels in my arms. This might be the last time this can happen. I stop thinking and kiss her breathless. I'll save those thoughts for later. For now, all I can see is her.

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I dazedly open the door to my room. I feel as though the whole day has been a dream. I smile faintly, knowing that it is real. Not even bothering to change clothes, I fall onto my bed. I close my eyes, giving in to exhaustion.

A small smile forms on my lips as sleep overcomes me. I realize one thing hasn't changed. The only thing I dream about is her.


End file.
